Yesterday was very hard for me. With the Holiday season in full gear I have not been paying enough attention to my emotions nor enough effort into my program.
I was at work last night. My head was consumed with my worries, fears and insanity-I panicked. I was so frightened and couldn't stop crying as the committee in my head begged and pleaded for a drink. I wanted anything to stop the crazy voices and felt Iextremely powerless. I didn't pick up, by the grace of God.
Last night, my moment of insanity, is what I have feared the most in the last 14 months. This is what has happened every time I have relapsed. On the bright side, one of my worst fears happened, and I didn't drink over it. Today is not day 1 for me. I am safe, I am loved, and I am taken care of.